she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize