I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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