therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
