we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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