I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
