chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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