Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
