I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Randomize
