There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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