I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
