Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
