I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
