worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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