the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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