I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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