Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
