I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
