I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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