I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Let's paint friendship bongs
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
