That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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