My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
