No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
