does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
