I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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