garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
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