I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize