What a fucking waste of an outfit
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
