wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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