a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
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