I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
