So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
