Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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