I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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