I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize