i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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