So drunk its hurt
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
