just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
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