Girls should come with a carfax report
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
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