I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
