Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
