***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
is this the sara with the beer cane?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I have already put on my inside pants.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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