margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
it hurts more in the daytime
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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