Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I intend to get homeless drunk
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
