you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
