She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
i think i just lost a toe
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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