don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
