Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
