hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
