I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
