Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
