i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
