You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Randomize
