just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
