I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize