physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
