I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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