I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize