Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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