I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
