Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
