Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
