She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
