Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
