YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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