roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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