talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
