Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Randomize