if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
