Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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