so explain again why im purple
no
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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