they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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