they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
